Day -8

Everything seems to be going just fine. I've not been sick and I walked a mile on the treadmill today. Met up with a couple of my friends (stem cell dumping buddies) and I think they are still pissed at me for dumping so many the first day. As they tell me, they were there for all five days. Oh well, ever body is different. I suggested meeting up in SCT lounge for a round of Texas Hold'em. I doubt anyone will show up. The family lounge is really nice. It has a bike and a couple of treadmills, four computers, big screen TV and Lot's of food if you get hungry. Free coffee and I've had a couple of cups tonight.

My doctor came in this morning and was concerned with me being intolerable to the anti-nausea medications. He is thinking I'm really going to need something at some point so he wants to send the Pharmacist up to talk with me. They gave me something very mild and it upset my stomach. He said that I would get the 33 million SC put back into my system and announced that I would be getting Neupogen by IV for 5-7 days to help bring my white count back up faster. He thinks I'm going to do great but is still telling me the rough days are going to be 0-7 for sure.

Keith came up this evening to see me and brought me the much anticipated Ethernet cable so I could gain access to the Internet. He saw me behind the glass wall and was making fun of me. "Look at the monkey...look at the monkey" Ha Ha! Again, thanks for all the comments and I will be posting my blood counts as soon as they come in. Tonight is the first night to draw blood.
Four bags of Buslfin down much more to come.

Breakfast, lunch and dinner was everything I asked for. The food was hot and was really quite tasty. I got a shower and NO water pressure but it did feel good to wash off. Still taking care of my mouth with the rinse and washing. The sponge on a stick and baking soda takes a bit to get use to. It's like you wondering if you have bad breathe but I just drink coffee and say the heck with it.

I hope all is well at church? That is something I really miss. It's like I finally got a strong connection and I had to leave to come up here. Please keep me updated with any new news.

Now that I'm back online it feels good to IM with the kids. I hope that I can keep this up and keep the postings coming. Will update you tomorrow!

DAY -9 Hospital Admission

I’m here. Keith brought me up and I ended up in my room early. I made sure to bring my own comforter and pillows. (Thanks Heather Z) The bed has an air mattress on it that inflates/deflates by itself. May take a bit to get use to. The PA came in and gave me a physical and went over my history. I saw Dr. Dean on the elevator and he said he was going to take good care of me. I just ate my dinner meal, which was not bad. One down and how many more to go? My cell phone is working but the Internet connection in my room is not. I may have to take my laptop down the hall in order for me to gain access. The Room has it’s own air filtration system along with a glass door. Not bad. Got my clothes put up and hopefully take a shower here soon. They won’t let you use your own toothbrush for fear of bleeding gums so they give you a sponge on a stick, baking soda and two different kinds of mouthwash. I got all my pictures up and I’m winding down for the night.

9:00 p.m. is when they start my chemo (Busulfin) it runs for two hours and they will give it to me again at 3:00 a.m.. 9:00 a.m. and at 3:00 p.m. for the next several days. Vitals every four hours. I’ve been listening to my itunes, which if I didn’t have that, it would really suck.

56 MILLION STEM CELLS COLLECTED! 33 the first day and 23 the second day which was a ½ bag. They were very impressed! My social worker came in and we talked for a while. She thinks I’m adjusting well for the first day. She said she will check in with me frequently.

Nurse Kim is very nice. She lives in Akron, close to Keith. She went over all the drugs telling me that Busulfin is the one that is not so hard on the system but the other ones (two more) get worse as we go. She too, thinks I’m going to do great. Just hooked be up to a bag of fluids and gave me some Dylantin.

I’ll let you all know how I did through the night and will try to post tomorrow evening.

-9 and counting down to 0.

My address at the clinic

I found out what my temporary new address will be:

Alan Stewart
Cleveland Clinic Foundation/M50
9500 Euclid Avenue
Cleveland, OH 44195

Admission tomorrow for the SCT!

Greetings to all!

We made it to Akron, OH with no problems. The ice storm was a bit north of us. We are getting some snow, but nothing major. My bags are packed and I going to be heading up to the Cleveland Clinic tomorrow around noon for my admission. Please tell your friends to pray for me. The HDlist has been great but I'm just going to post on my blog during this time...and I'm hopeful I will be able to post. Please do let all the people posting on the HDlist know that I'm following their comments and keeping them all in my prayers!

Today I'm having mixed emotions. It's like I'm scared but I'm not. I know that what ever is going to happen while in-house, I will be provided the best of care. It's the side effects and recovery that I think I'm so concerned with currently. It will all work out and I'm going to try to have the best attitude one can have during this transplant. One has to be strong when faced with a challenge. I'm starting at the base of the mountain climb this evening with Keith fixing me a big steak for dinner. They will drive me up tomorrow and we will see how things are going to be. They will start me on the chemo tomorrow afternoon. I will post tomorrow and let you know. Keeping the faith! Feeling the prayers! Placing the ropes for the long climb up!

Heading back to Cleveland for Admission

Well, things seem to be working out with the business. I found a tech and he is really going to give it his best. (I've heard that about six times now). I've been trying to train him for the last couple of days and in my mind we need about three more days for me to feel very comfortable turning him loose, but I'm out of time. So, all I can do is pray that he works out.

Being home has been a HUGE blessing! It has given me the break that I was needing from my "homesick" status. My kids have been great and I got to spend a couple of times with McKenna. She is something else. I was giving her a bath and her facial expressions were like "Where have you been Poppie"? I told her I was going to be gone for another three weeks but i will see her soon and she just smiled at me. Katie and Oliver I sense are troubled with me leaving again but they got it in their minds that it's only another three weeks! Getting admitted on Tuesday but heading back up tomorrow (Sunday) with Keith and his daughter Christi. We have been informed that they are expecting an ICE STORM. So what's new I say! I brought up the frigid cold, the most snow they had at one time and now ICE!

My Pastor is going to tell the congregation how I'm doing and ask for continued prayer for me. He is such a great guy. I do recall my social worker asking me if I wanted a Pastor to visit me on a regular basis while in the hospital and I said for sure.

As for me. I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared but I'm trying so hard to eliminate this unnecessary fears about leaving home, kids, business and throw it all over to Christ. He is the great healer and provider. He will take care of me and my family I know this. I just hope I don't get really sick, sick! It's like you can deal with throwing up but having all the scary side effects (uncertainties) I guess is what's so scary.

Anyway, thanks to all that are following my blog and praying for me. I really feel the prayers!

Continued Stress

I'm really glad to be home but I'm continued to be stressed over the business. My tech that I thought was going to work out decides today that she can't do the job. So, I'm searching for a replacement and for me to do the training in two days is not realistic. It's looking like I'm going to loose a lot of money by not servicing my accounts. Something just isn't right when you train six potential techs and none of them work out!

Again, I tell myself that I have to concentrate on ME. This is what I'm doing but income (my only source) is my business and I guess I'm just scared.

Kids are doing great and we went out to eat again tonight! They want to go see a movie tomorrow night if we can get tickets to see The Astronaut Farmer (I think that's what it's called). My car is still not running as of this afternoon which I hope does not put Keith in a bind tomorrow getting my car and driving it home. This dealership in Akron has just been driving us crazy over repairing this problem.

I'm heading to my local clinic in the AM for a potassium level check. I've been feeling fine flushing the catheter and changing the dressing daily. I'm not looking forward to returning to Cleveland but reality is at hand. I have to kick this cancer out of my system. I WILL DO THIS!!!!!

Oh, one more thing. My friend Bob who owns several quick oil change facilities with his brother Lou told me that Lou passed away and it floored me! He died unexpectedly at the age of 52. It really brought me down and I know Bob is devastated not for just the loss of his brother but losing his best friend as well. Sorry Bobby!

HOME

I'm home! It felt so good to drive down my driveway. Katie heads out to meet me, hugs me and just starts sobbing. She knows how much I hate being away and I know she missed me dearly. Oliver came over after his Mom got back home from work and he gave me a big hug as well. Mallory brought McKenna by and she just looked at me kinda funny. I took off my hat and she saw my old bald head then she smiled and started kicking her legs. It's a routine when she comes to Poppie's house that we walk around and look at all the antique clocks I have and the way she reacts to a couple of them, I think I might have to make sure I consider those clocks "hers." We played on the floor and I'm certain that she will be crawling the next time I see her. I gave her a bottle and she fell asleep in my arms and I didn't lay her down. Just held her. She is a sweetie! Mallory seems to be a bit preoccupied this evening. Not for sure whats going on but I suspect she is just worried about her old Dad. I tried to reassure her that I was fine. I took the kids out for supper and I told them that the next time I come home I won't be as perky and they understood.

My car was driving me crazy today. I told the dealership that I needed to know as soon as possible if the part they ordered was on the morning truck. The girl at the office calls about 10:00 and tells me it was NOT on the truck. I told her my plight a couple of days ago and I know she was very remorse to tell me the bad news thinking I was going to be delayed another day in Cleveland. I fooled her! I stole Keith's car. Loaded it up and was on the road at 10:30! It was about 5 1/2 hour drive, which was good for me. Keith is going to pick my car up and drive it down Friday to spend some time with his parents. Heading back with him (leaving my car here) on Sunday.

Thanks to all the comments! Eric posted a link to my blog on his blog. I'm glad Heather Z is doing better and to Keith and Cathy~~Words cannot describe how much I appreciate you guys. Thanks! By the way, when I was taking my comforter off the bed this morning, I did find the snake. It's not moved for some time but at least we finally found it! SORRY CONNOR!

Last day at the clinic for now!

I got there early to dump some more stem cells and the nurses told me not to say much to the other patients because they didn't collect as much as I did. I said 3,300,000 is really a lot? They told me I dumped off 33,000,000!!!!! Holy cow I said. I just about dropped to my knees. That was really GREAT news especially when it comes to putting them back into my system. So, they got about a 1/2 bag today and my potassium level was still low so they gave me four more bags. I do have clearance to go home but still waiting for my car to get fixed. The part should be in soon I was told. I'm hopeful to get on the road tomorrow no later than 12:00.

No more antibiotics, Neupogen. Feeling pretty good.

Stem Cell Collection Process

Well, I got to the clinic early and the first thing they did was draw blood. I had to have a min of 5000 white cell and my platelet had to show a certain number before they hook me up to the machine. They told us (about seven in the room) to come back around 8:30. We got the results at 9:15 and they hooked us all up. My white count was 40.0 WAY UP from Sat. which they said was great. My platelets were still low but up to 80. My potassium was really low. I needed four bags of potassium. The collection process went well it was just a long day. 2:30 when I left there. My stem cell coordinator called me and said they collected 3,300,000. YAHOO! So all I need to do is one more bag tomorrow and I'm free to come home. Still having bone pains from the Neupogen but I don't think I have to take anymore of it!!!!

They called on my car and said the fuel pump was out and they would have to order one so I home they get it in tomorrow so I can leave Wed. morning. We will see.

Weird Day!

Got up this morning after a full nights rest. The pain pill helped with the low back I was having. Flushed my catheter, changed my dressing and gave myself the shots. Got ready to head out for breakfast and there was another couple of inches of snow on the ground. Currently two more inches has come down. During the first attempt to get to a restaurant, my car died. Would not start up at all. Called a wrecker and they took it to a local VW dealer. Hope to get it worked on tomorrow. While waiting for the wrecker I noticed a chip off my front tooth! Starting to wonder if it could get any worse. Keith's Mom and Dad were flying out of Hopkins Airport in Cleveland when we were watching the news a Delta flight slide off the runway but closed the airport down for about an 1 1/2. Last I heard they made it out. My bone pain has been gone for the most part except for my skull. It seems to hurt thus giving me a headache. Heading out to Cleveland in one of Keith's car at 6:00 for a 7:30 collection of my stem cells. They say the process takes about 4-5 hours. I'll let you know how it goes. Hoping for BIG numbers!!

Having some bone pains from the Neupogen

Got to the clinic at 8:15 and they took me right back. Nurses were so nice that we all said how nice it would be if it was like this during the day.

My labs: WBC up to 4.0 is is the low end of normal and my platelets were up to 39 but still low.

I could not get comfortable at all last night. Fell asleep at 6:00 and got up at 7:00. I having bone pains in my pelvis and low back and I also notice my skull hurting a bit which is giving me a headache. I brought some pain pills from home and I just took another one prior to bed and I hope it will ease up enough to get to sleep. Other than that I'm feeling fine. I need to give myself the injections tomorrow and Monday head to a different part of the clinic for my first Stem Cell collection. OR whatever they call. I hope they get enough so I can leave for home on WED. at the latest, to see the kids and do a little work in the office.

Keith fixed another great meal tonight and opened up a bottle of wine that was KILLER! He said he could have sold it for (I think) $500.00. Mom and Dad are up here and we just had a wonderful evening with them.

Calling for 3 more inches of snow tonight.

Nites!

IT's FRIDAY!

I've been doing pretty good today. Still a bit down (home sick) but overall I'm feeling better.

Went to the clinic and they got more blood which showed WBC 1.02 up from yesterday and my Platelets were 31 still low but both were up. It also showed a Atypical lymphoma cell which I was guessing it was my cancer cells, which got me a bit further down. They gave me my shots and another bag of Vancomycin. I need to be there tomorrow at 8:30 for another round. Sunday will be a day of rest and I will give myself the shots and Monday they will start pulling off my stem cells. The one thing I wished the clinic would understand that everyone doesn't "fit" into a standard, normal, protocol, routine. Like "You have to take you Compazine" (anti nausea medication). So, trying not to rock the boat I've been doing everything they tell me. BUT, I kept telling myself that I just didn't feel quite right so I stopped taking it for the last two days and I've felt much better. EVERY anti nausea medication has made me nausea.

Another thing. With all the Chemo I've had in the past, my blood values were NEVER out of the range of normal and this dumbfounded the nurses and my oncologist at home. He always told me that it was good that I was doing so good post chemo. I've always taken a dose of powder Glutathione, vitamin C, multi vitamins, CoQ10 400 mg. and got Detoxed every other day at my local Chiropractor's office. All this made me feel good and in my mind, it was working to keep my lab values from getting out of whack. BUT, my oncologist wants me not to take any of it noting "Vitamin C has been shown that it has encapsulated cancer cells" Did I do something wrong??? Maybe I should have not taken all that stuff before and maybe my labs do need to drop. That's what's been going through my head today. Cathy continues to remind me that God is in control of all things so I have to just let him handle me and I will be fine. If cancer cells are not being encapsulated by me not taking the vitamin C...this is good.

Katie tells me my cat is not doing well and she is going to take him to the Vet tomorrow. He is 12 or 13 and I think his weight loss is due to his age but he could have something else going on so we will see.

Mom is doing well and Oliver had his last swim meet for the year and he is very glad it's all over with. Mom said she gave McKenna a kiss for her old Poppie. I miss my grand baby!

Keith's Mom and Dad flew in today and it was great seeing them. Keith fixed another great meal and we had fun sitting around shootin the breeze.

I will let you know how things go tomorrow. Heading to bed.

Neupogen, low platelet count, wbc up a little, Vancomycin

I made it to the clinic today. It only took me an extra 45 mins. to get there because of the traffic. They get me back and hook me up to the Vancomycin, drew some blood which showed my WBC at .84 which low is 4.0 and high 11.0. Also, my platelet count dropped to 20 which low is 150 and high is 400 so they gave me some blood to help boost my low counts. They seem to be happy with my progress. The nurses were really nice today. The one is expecting her first child on my discharge date.

Keith's Mom and Dad are flying in tomorrow which it will be nice to see them. I've got several birthday cards and with all the comments~Thanks! They help to keep my spirits up!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Yikes! Another year older and it really sucks. Turned 46 and I thought 45 was bad...

I woke up this morning with about 14" of snow on the ground and Keith tells me he is driving me to the clinic today! The road were in pretty good shape but for me to get there in my car, I don't think that was going to happen. Thank goodness for 4-wheel drive vehicles.

It's hard for me to express to Keith and Cathy how much I appreciate them. For Keith to take the day off for me...well, it's just hard to say thanks! As we know we are brothers not by blood but by choice.

You know this clinic thing just drive me crazy. Snow was keeping people from getting to the clinic so they are not as busy. We get the early 9:45 and my appointment is for 10:15 but they don't call us back until 11:00. Talk about pushing your patience. Oh well, they got me hooked up to the Vancomycin and got me my shots but my blood values were a bit low. WBC was .4 and low is 4. So, I cannot go out in public, have to check my temp 2-3 times daily, stay away from anyone that might even look sick! The thing they keep saying is WASH YOUR HANDS! I don't want to get sick for sure! I'll have enough of that real soon. My platelet was a bit low as well. I think they are waiting for the Neupogen to kick in and when that happens, my WBC should go up.

Thanks for all the kind comments and I will try to make the best out of my birthday. Spending it with my best friends family is a present in itself! I'll let you know what my blood counts are tomorrow when I get back from the clinic.

SNOW EVERYWHERE!

Man it has been snowing non-stop. They are calling for 9" tonight and another 6" by noon tomorrow. I made it to the clinic by driving real slow and watching everyone else. I'm scheduled to return in the am but we will have to wait and see how the roads look.

I had more blood work today and the values were all normal. Neupogen shots given and was on the road by 12:00 today. The drive back was not bad but the road now look horrible.
I'm feeling really tired and not looking forward to tomorrow at all. Still trying to take things "one day at a time" attitude.

Thanks Debbie for the comment. Wishing you well too!

Neupogen/low WBC and low Potassium

Well, I got to the clinic at 9:45 and didn't get called back till about 10:45. It was really busy today, I was told. Didn't like the nurse to well as she was not very informative with my questions. I was under the impression that my WBC need to be high because of the shots I'm getting and the results of the blood count showed my WBC at 1.o and low is 4.0. I've been a little light headed (nothing major) but she said it would have nothing to do with my WBC being so low. I was also needing potassium. Which took another 2 1/2 hours for that to run in as well.
I had to change my own dressing and flush my catheter and I was getting to the point wondering if I was going to ask her or not to inject my Neupogen. Overall, I was not impressed with her but I'm still very happy with the facility. I'm sure I'm in the right place for this treatment.

Pastor Dave called checking in with me and he told me they had 317 this past Sunday 307 the prior. I talked with Larry and he told me that they continue to lift me up in prayers and many people have asked how I was doing. I heard Sally really enjoyed the FOG and I thought she would and for John and Amy, I will keep praying that they find comfort at MCC. I talked to Barbara and she seemed well. My employee Brenda went out for her first scans today...I've not heard from her so I hope all went well. I called Dr. Crowder and told him what was going on with me and he stopped what he was doing and prayed with me on the phone. He said that he would do what he can to keep my employee busy and he schedule a 1/2 day of testing at his office. Thanks be to God. I won't ever forget what my dear friend Matt told me over breakfast that business was down for a reason and it could be that God is telling me that I have to take care of myself. God will increase my business when the time is right.

Katie has been struggling to get to the office and there was a problem with the fax machine. 80% of my accounts fax their request to me so it's not good to have a fax number busy since Thursday last week because AOL was left on! We unplugged it from the computer and all is well now. I pray that I'm not overwhelming her with all she has to do but I know she is getting stressed out and I'm trying not to get upset with her, but it's hard. I'm trying to show her how important it is to do a good job with everything she does. Giving her some sense of responsibility but I keep saying she may be to young.

I talked with the Social Worker today at the clinic and she said she could see a noticeable change in me. No so worried about things and she was happy to see that.

WEATHER ALERT: They are saying that by the snow stops on Wed. 7-14 inches for this area. I have to just take my time and get to the clinic the best I can. Driving will be tough but I will figure it out. Tune back in tomorrow for an update!

Fourth Neupogen-doing great!

Feeling good! Slept well but was a bit itchy. Thinking the new antibiotic may be causing me to itch but nothing I can't handle. No hives etc. I gave myself the injections today, changed my dressing and flushed my catheter. All looks good. Went out this am and found a church I may go to next Sunday. Had a big breakfast and all is good. Keith and Connor went Boy Scout camping, -4 below wind chill but they seemed to have had a good time. Both are tired and I can see how this cold weather can take it out of you. Anyway, back to the clinic tomorrow for more antibiotics. It is supposed to snow like an inch or so.

Third Neupogen/Vancomycin/New Antibiotic

Doing really good today. Feeling almost normal now that I have that nasty Cipro out of my system. They switched me to Levaquin 500 mg. and it is ok on my system. Got up early today and the drive to Cleveland is nice on Sat. Morning. NO CARS! They hooked me up to the Vancomycin which runs in for about 1 hour and they follow it with normal saline for about another 1/2 hour. They drew blood and my WBC were 21.49 which is good to be high, they tell me. It shows that the Neupogen injections are doing what they are supposed to do. The normal range for WBC is Low 4.0 and High 11.0 Everything else was in the range of normal and the nurses said that is what they want. No temp, sleeping well and eating normally. Keith is such a great cook! Chef that is! I will miss his cooking when I go into the hospital and have to eat their food.

Thanks Virgil and Roberta! All is well on the home front. Love you guys too!

Second Neupogen and Vancomycin

Went to the clinic today and before I could get out of the drive I got sick. I'm 90% it's the Cipro they are making me take twice a day. Every time I take it I get sick. They are going to see about getting me something else. I got Vancomycin?sp today at the clinic and they gave me my Neupogen shots, changed my dressing and I was there for about an 1-1/2 hours. It has warmed up a bit today I think they said 13 and the sun is out melting some of the snow. I'm doing ok just tried and sick of getting sick when I know it's the Cipro. They told me I had to take my meds or I may end up in the hospital. GET ME THE RIGHT MEDS and I will be fine! My abdomen hurts from throwing up. I have to head to the clinic in the am for more antibiotics. I'll let you know if they get my meds straighten out. They treat everyone the same as if everyone can take the same (protocol) meds and they act like it's your problem...to some degree. Everybody is not the same.

First Neupogen shot

Feeling better today. Tired but that is going to be the norm I'm sure. I changed the dressing and flushed the catheter out this morning. Had to give myself two shots of Neupogen in my belly. Didn't hurt, but not really wanting to do this everyday! No side effects yet. They say it may make your bones hurt. I hope it doesn't. Heading to the Clinic in the AM for IV antibiotics. I'll let you all know how that goes and if they do anything else. I'm taking the Neupogen with me tomorrow so the nurse can give it to me. It is suppose to snow tonight. All seems well on my home front. Missing my family as it doesn't take me long to get homesick!

Pretty rough day.

Well, it got on the road at 7:45 and go to the Cleveland Clinic for my 9:00 training that didn't start till 10:00 but it went really fast since I knew the basic of wound care etc. I have to change the dressing and flush the lines out everyday. No biggy. They go me all hooked up with the chemo around 11:00 and I finished up at 6:00. Drove home and as soon as I got in the door I was throwing up. This went on for about 4 hours and some nasty cold, bone shaking chills. That only lasted while I was throwing up. As soon as I layed back down, things were fine. I did get to sleep and right now I feel a bit tired which is part of it. No more chemo until I'm admitted. I think I'm going to start getting large doses of antibiotics. Currently have a nasty taste in my mouth that I've been trying to get rid of. I will start giving myself injections of the Neuprogen on Thursday and I start taking Cipro an antibiotic by mouth this evening. They said if I were to spike a temp of 100.5 I would have to be admitted.

So, today is just a day of rest with nothing planned. I going to change my dressing, get a shower and work this nasty taste out of my mouth.

Thanks for all the comments you've been posting. They make me feel good and cheer me up.

Hickman line in place. IT'S COLD!

Man it's COLD! -4 in Cleveland with a wind chill of like -20.

I got to the clinic early this morning for an ekg, blood work etc. I got to see Dr. Dean and he was very happy with how well the ICE went. We talked a bit about the SCT process and he thinks I'm going to do just fine. He said he would like for me to have 7,000,000. stem cells and I told him that was a lot more than what I thought I was going to have to give. I told him that I would like very much to go home but that may not happen. It just depends on how much they get the first couple of days when they draw off the stem cells.

Went over to the hospital and got my Hickman line placed in my left chest wall with very little discomfort. Came home and took a 4 hour nap. Will need to head back up tomorrow morning for them to show me how to flush the lines and get a large dose of Etopiside. That is the E in ICE but I will be getting a much larger dose he said. May cause chills (I had to laugh since it was so cold up here) and nausea.

It is going to be even colder tomorrow. No school tomorrow. Everything back home seems to be in order so one day down and looking ahead!

Getting Ready!

Well, my spirits are high. I'm in Akron, OH and made it up in about 5 1/2 hours. Said my goodbyes to my family (which was hard) but I'm concentrating on ME! I'm going to kick some butt on everything the doctors tell me to do. Getting my Hickman line put in tomorrow and I get to see Dr. Dean, my oncologist.

Keith and Cathy are great! They fixed their spare bedroom up for me and I know it was no easy task to move all the stuff they had, elsewhere. We have discussed my schedule a bit more and they will do whatever it takes to get me through this. I have all my clothes out of suitcases in easy access in the closet. There is no school tomorrow for Christi and Connor as the temp. is near -0-.

Finished Lance Armstrong's book on tape "Every Second Counts" and he is a great motivator and makes you look at things in a different light. I think the one thing I got that hit me hard regarding his cancer treatment was "Misery is a cure" One needs to think about that. He went on to talk about all the smells in the hospital that a cancer patient has to deal with that you will never forget. The bed sheets, the bad food, the night of no sleep. Interesting to say the least.

I will let you know how things go tomorrow. Nites!